Zia Nuray (zianuray) wrote,
Zia Nuray

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So I've been in tears off and on all day

 because today was the last lauch of the space shuttle program, and there's nothing slated to replace it.  

I didn't realize until about 11 or noon until quite why I was so upset; I think I've been holding to the (admittedly very faint) hope of making it to a Moon or Mars colony -- I  know, my age and weight would count against me if nothing else did, but I did have that faint hope.  After all, they're going to need broom-pushers for everywhere and dishwashers in the galley and orderlies in sickbay....and the triple-PhDs all over the place won't want to take time from their research and other projects for the mundane chores.  I'm smart enough to not open both doors on an airlock at the same time and not too proud to shovel manure if that's what needs doing (and yes, I've done it).

I pretty much know where I fall as far as intelligence -- not only do I know my scores on several sorts of tests, I know where I fall on the "average human VS Sheldon Cooper" scale -- pretty much 1/3 of the way up.  Smart enough that I have to be careful picking topics of conversation when standing in a checkout line, not smart enough to do differential calculus in my head.
And I'm a generalist -- Jack of all trades, master of none is the old phrase.  I don't know what they're calling it now in txtspk or twtspk or crrent slang, and -- even more important -- I can follow directions!  If you tell me to flip these three switches in this sequence, guess what?  They'll get flipped in that sequence -- even if I have to write it down to keep it straight.
I know that compared to the average Star Trek crewman (yes, I know, fiction, deal with it) -- not even the officers -- I'm gonna be barely average, and I'll likely have to struggle for that -- evolution and education will continue to improve and selection will (hopefully) take only the best and brightest for those positions, and that's about what I expect would be going on with the colony projects too.
But until today, I had at least that faint hope.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep.
Tags: about me, grousing
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