Zia Nuray (zianuray) wrote,
Zia Nuray

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Someone asked:

"If you could ask God one question, what would you ask?"

I'm going to assume that this person meant "and get an answer" because I've asked god so many questions that I've quit asking.
Never got an answer, so why bother?

I asked why my first husband got schizophrenia. 

I asked why my uncle was murdered and left two small children. 

I asked why my stepfather molested me. 

I asked why I had to move schools every year and leave any friends I made behind. 

I asked how I was going to raise a child alone, with no support system and a job that made no allowances for a kid getting sick or having to show up in court to explain that unsupervised visitation was NOT a good idea. 

I held my neighbor while she asked why her husband was cheating on her with a teenager whose mother drove her to that house and sat downstairs drinking coffee and waiting while my friend was at work. 

I held another while she wept for the children she'll never bear after a rape left her with so much damage she needed a hysterectomy and asked why. 

I held a friend who wept without a sound, with no tears, simply trembling and choking, never given a reason for the abuse he suffered as a child.

I'm done asking.  Some days, I'm done believing.  Most days, I believe that if there's a god, he isn't paying attention.  Really, I've been through the whole indoctrination process that "All good things come from God, nothing ever happens to us that He doesn't allow, it'll all work out for His Glory."

Yeah, I'm sure He will make sure He's glorified.  The God of the Christian Bible is a spoiled brat to start with -- READ that bible with your eyes open, don't take my word for it! -- and He just adores sinners -- after all, He made an adulterer king of His people and commanded that babies and small children of the losing side have their brains dashed out on stones by the winners of a war started for His Glory.  Bloodthirsty critter, there.  And you Christians WANT to be "God-like"???????

He said "Do what you want to My servant Job, just don't kill him."  So all Job's property and children were wiped out, even his health, to prove a fricking POINT.  Yeah, he got back more than he lost in the long run, but HIS CHILDREN WERE STILL DEAD and lost to him while he was alive.  But, y'know, it's OK 'cause it's God's Will. 

And before you say "Oh, that's parables, that's allegory, that's just to help us understand" I submit that you can't have it both ways.  Either you believe the Bible is the inerrant Word of God, and worth following in all things (in which case we have a whole 'nother discussion coming up), or you believe it's a collection of stories to help "us poor stupid humans" learn our lessons.  Never mind that every one of the major stories can be found in older records of other civilizations from the area in question.

Those of you who use these writings to justify your opinions without following all the laws and strictures set down, guess what?  Your Christ had something to say about that. 

So don't sit there stuffing your face with a ham sandwich while wearing a poly/cotton shirt, sneering at "teh gayz" "because the Bible says so!"  'Cause Religion?  You're doing it wrong.
Tags: rant, religion
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