Health care directives

Home health was by last week and were went over the usual stuff.  One question was added though. What about intubation  if diagnosed with Covid-19? 

Well, given what I'm hearing about the aftermath when people come off the vents and eventually get discharged, the organ damage, the lasting heart and lung problems....I reinforced the bit about "comfort measures only."  

I'm 58 and already in sucky shape with heart and lung issues, mobility problems, etc.  Quality of life would be close to zero at that point.



So after i don't know HOW many years and tries with the posted support email on the site, I finally got hold of neopets through their FB page.

And I got my accoiunt back!

The bank and SDC box are intact, but the gallery is empty.  This is a small sad for me, as many of the things I rememeber having are now made of unobtanium (retired, etc.).

I had a lot of trouble getting the shops to load, but after enough digging and poking I got Flash working (on this particular system Flash is default OFF).  And I DID IT without help!  

Grandparents raising grandchildren: some notes

c/p from FB, with added bits after.

For people raising their grandchildren, their nieces and nephews, anything like that, here's a couple of things to keep in mind: they're going to remember what you tell them. They're going to remember how you act. They're going to remember every time you tell him that you're such a good person for taking them in. They will remember every time you tell him that the social worker will come get them and take them back and put them in a foster home if they do this or that or the other harmless thing that you just don't want to be bothered with letting them do. Every time you compare them unfavorably to the parent that isn't taking care of them for whatever reason. They're going to remember that. They're going to remember that for at least 50 years and that's going to make an impact. They will feel unworthy. They will feel like a burden and an inconvenience. They will know they f*cking owe you. And they will resent it.
And, in case you are wondering, just at this moment I am slightly less than OK.

This was induced by a couple of women I work with mentioning on IM that they were raising their grandkids and the flood of "OMG you're an angel, you're a saint, etc" from almost everyone else.

I was so unprepared for life-after-18.


Church, home, school. No extracurriculars. I was allowed to date BUT if even 30 sec late it was a disaster. Get a flat tire? get it fixed then go find a payphone even though it would have been 5 minutes late to just get home than take the extra 10 minutes to get to a phone, etc.

Don't even ask if you can go to a daytime girls-only party Saturday afternoon b/c we're not driving you. "It's on the city bus route, I can --" I SAID NO. YOU WANT THE SOCIAL WORKER TO COME GET YOU WHEN SHE HEARS ABOUT IT? SHE'LL SEND YOU RIGHT BACK TO JOHN AND VIRGINIA. What do you want to bet would have happened if I asked "How would she hear about it?"

Mom and Uncle Vic learned to drive before 16 and Grampa helped them buy cars so they could get jobs, get back and forth to school, etc., when they were legal to drive. I didn't have a car until I was moved out, in the Army, and married. I could either mow lawns (with the homeowner's mower) or clean (only for people my folks knew well and approved of) or they could drive me to a paycheck job and lay on the guilt about that. I suggested that I get a car or a Vespa and was told if I did that I would move out immediately. And then they would send  THE SOCIAL WORKER to swoop me up and toss me into foster care (at 17).

I don't know why I so believed them about the social worker. Ms. Williams was not scary, but she was an authority figure, and I guess I thought all authority figures were the same. Maybe they are.

The last couple of years I started stretching a bit even against their protests. Sometimes I'd call from the corner shop after the school bus dropped me off and say I was taking the city bus to the library. Most times I would, but once in awhile I'd take it to the end of it's route then back just to be away. Or to the mall. To this day I don't know if that was a normal reaction.

**to be continued**



finzlly got sick enough of the constant snarls and matting to takre the desk scissors to my hair.  it is now Shorter than since i was 18.



Back to taking melatonin 5 mg for the past 2 weeks.  Seems to be helping, waking less but not remembering dreams for more than a few seconds after waking.


Long time ago

Okay everybody knows that I pretty much enjoyed school I didn't enjoy the other kids. However there were a couple of teachers that were shall we say less than professional. The story of my encounter woth one is here:

There was a permission slip to be signed, so i brought mine in of course it was signed by my grandparents, since that's who I lived with. The last names didn't match because it was my mother's parents. The teacher took one look handed the paper back, refused to accept it as it wasn't my parents signature since the names didn't match. I explained that I live with my grandparents and they are my legal Guardians. And the teacher blurted out at top volume "what did you do that was so awful your parents didn't want you anymore?" Of course, next stop was the principal's office.

(no subject)

She who used to be the beautiful heaulmière

“You know I wouldn't be rude to the old woman who posed for that. What I can't understand is a so-called artist having the gall to pose somebody's great grandmother in her skin . . . and you having the bad taste to want it around . . . ”
“Anyone can see a pretty girl. An artist can look at a pretty girl and see the old woman she will become. A better artist can look at an old woman and see the pretty girl she used to be. A great artist can look at an old woman, portray her exactly as she is . . . and force the viewer to see the pretty girl she used to be . . . more than that, he can make anyone with the sensitivity of an armadillo see that this lovely young girl is still alive, prisoned inside her ruined body. He can make you feel the quiet, endless tragedy that there was never a girl born who ever grew older than eighteen in her heart . . . no matter what the merciless hours have done. Look at her, Ben. Growing old doesn't matter to you and me—but it does to them. Look at her!

Robert Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

This is the first Rodin sculpture that Jubal is given by Michael in the book. I was curious about the sculpture and found this picture here. Later I saw it in the Rodin museum in Paris.


  • Current Mood
    pensive pensive

Same but different

Tarot cards and essential oils have a LOT of similarities for such dissimilar objects/concepts

both are very versatile

both change / get stronger in combnination

both are subject to individual interpretation

and a lot of people doen't believe in either (or don't believe they work)



Informed consent / prior negotiation / heasdspace / subspace

I finally get, to a SMALL extent, why prior, informed consent and negotiation are important.  I just remembered the one time I got an actual endorphin HIGH - and yes, I mean high - during a massage.  I could not respond in an appropriate manner, I only sort-of understood questions, and I would cheerfully have allowed body parts to be chopped off while in that state.