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#whywedon'treport
besom
zianuray

Short answer?  It doesn't do any good.

Long answer?  Waaay too long and nuanced for me to get into.

Anyhow, here's my story if you want to read it.

I did report. My mother slapped me and called me a liar. I told the school counselor and was taken out of the house that evening by police and family members. 

** Police from two counties — the one I was living in and the one my grandparents lived in.

** My maternal grandparents, my stepfather's sister and her husband.

** I went home with the grands and lived there until my majority as a ward of the state.

My brother and sister were taken also and adopted by different families. I've seen them once or twice since then.

** J was adopted by the aforementioned aunt.  He was living there anyhow.

** S was adopted by an unrelated family.  Turns out the father there was a predator also.

I had to testify in court.

**  I DID NOT KNOW WHAT HE HAD DONE WAS A PART OF SEX.  I had to tell the mechanics of it.  "He did this, then this, then he said this, then he did that." I was so freaking scared.  He was right there in the courtroom. Looking back, I don't think it was a trial.  I think it was a custody hearing. 

 Mom TRIED TO KEEP ME IN THE HOUSE WITH THE MAN WHO MOLESTED ME. She tried to keep my sister in the house with the man who said that if I didn't cooperate, he would just go use her instead. I was ten. My sister (his daughter!) was three.


HE DID NOT SPEND A SINGLE HOUR IN CUSTODY. HE LOST NOTHING.

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besom
zianuray

https://www.ArtPal.com/randomdoodleart


I'm learning.
besom
zianuray

Today I dropped the cereal canister and the lid came off. Cereal all over the rug. Cue the feedback loop of "Stupid, clumsy, not paying attention, wasting food and money (&c.)".

Then a realization hit:  Emily.  What is SHE going to say?

Well, first she will ask if I'm OK.  

Then she will ask if I want her to pick up more cereal.

If I'm still frazzling out about it, she will remind me "That is why it's called an ACCIDENT.  No harm, no blame, let it be."

And I felt better and was able to clean it up without crying and coming apart.

When she got home I was able to tell her about it and I made sure to thank her for helping me "reprogram" my responses.

That's all I was going to post for now.


One more time.... LOL
besom
zianuray
Dragon Egg
Tags:

Is there such a thing as Health-Care Privilege?
besom
zianuray
I know I have health problems, but I also have a wonderful job that lets me work from home. I get insurance through that which works with Emie's VA, we have a house that may not be in the absolute best shape but is quite livable.

I actually feel guilty at times as I know so many people who do not have health insurance and are dependent on free clinics / sliding scale but work theit @$$es off at full time jobs or at several part-time jobs to make ends meet.

I try to do what I can in these cases without putting myself in a place where I would need to be bailed out, but it never seems nearly enough.

Sometimes all I can do is listen.
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I give the fuck UP.
Mr Yuk
zianuray
So I get told to not say Merry Christmas then people fuss if I don't say it.  Valentine's Day is a made-up holiday (HELLO????  Which isn't?).  Now I'm not supposed to say "Happy Mother's Day" unless I know the person I'm talking to expects it and wants to hear it and won't be hurt by it?  HOW am I supposed to know?  I deal with the public. I'm supposed to be polite.  But I can NOT keep from offending everyone anymore, it simply isn't possible.
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This may be outdated
besom
zianuray
Or Imay have been "reading: it wrong, but it seems to me that the cultures where men are "allowed" to be more physically affectionate in public are the same ones where homosexuality is (publicly) viewed most severely.  Please help me understand why this is so, or point out where I am wrong?

(Except France.  France seems to be an exception to a lot of stuff.)

Prompt call
besom
zianuray
OVER HERE!

Vero
besom
zianuray
https://www.vero.co/announcement/

Well then.
besom
zianuray

So I was reading this post https://ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com/?skip=10 and clicked through on the reference link to the  http://www.workingtogetherforrecovery.co.uk/Documents/Wellness%20Recovery%20Action%20Plan.pdf ....and I have no idea what I feel like when I'm "healthy."