Zia Nuray (zianuray) wrote,
Zia Nuray
zianuray

More Moose-ly Verses, please

As I find attribution for these, it will be added:

(I was gonna put it behind a cut, but the blog is marked as "adult concepts", so spork 'em if they can't take it.)

When I was a young lad I used to like girls,
I played with their bodies and fondled their curls.
Till my girl ran off with a Captain named Bruce.
Oh you'll never get treated like that by a moose!

 

Chorus: So it’s Moose, Moose, I like a Moose,
I’ve never had anything quite like a Moose,

I’ve had many lovers, my morals are loose,
But I’ve never had anything quite like a Moose!

2) Now when I’m in the mood for a really good lay,
I go to my closet and get me some hay,

I go to my window and spread it around,
Cause a Moose always comes when there’s hay on the ground!

3) Now gorillas are all right for Saturday night,
Lions and tigers, they puts up a fight,

But it’s just not the same when you slams their caboose,
As the feeling you get when you’re humping a Moose!

 

  1. So when I’m all hot, upset and uptight,
    I jump in my car, to the zoo I take flight

    Now animals all respect and renown,
    The moose for it being the best screw in town

5) Now I’ve done it with all sorts of beasties with hair,
Hell, I’d make it with snakes if their fangs were not there,
I’ve done it with walrus, a duck and a goose,
But I’ve never had anything quite like a Moose.

6) Now fish are too slimy and slip all around, And some say camels are heaven abound
But I’ll stick to my ways, and not to dismay, And call on my moose friend to jump me today

 

7) I went to the desert a Moose for to find, I only found camels, I near lost my mind, 
For the camel reminds me of Moose just a bit,
But a Moose always swallows and camels just spit!

    Now that I’m older, and advanced in my years,
    I’ll look back on my life, and shed me no tears,

    As I sit in my chair with my glass of Matuse,
    playing hide the salami with my friend the Moose!

    8) So, went off to heaven, my soul soared away.
    I’ll show up at those gates, with a bale of fresh hay,

    and they’re bound to inquire as to my grin,
    so I’ll wind up in hell humping Mooses again!
     

 

New verse by Steve Starks, 3/24/03

 

The fops are well known for their decorative touch,
flowers and pastels, the pinks and such.
To stay out of reach of their "manly" pursuits,
I keep myself safe at the rear of a moose!


I've tried many beasties on land or on sea
I've even tried hump-backs that humped back on me!
Sharks are quite good, tho they're hard to pull loose
But on dry land there is nothing quite like a moose!

Woodchucks are all right except that they bite
And foxes and rabbits won't last thru the night!
Cows would be fun, but they're hard to seduce
But you never need worry should you find a moose!

Step in my study, and trophies you'll find
A black striped tiger and scruffy maned lion
You'll know the elephant by his ivory tooth
And the one that's a-winking, you know is the moose!

The lion succumbed to a thirty-ought-six
Machine guns and tigers I've proved do not mix
The elephant fell by a bomb with a fuse
But I won't tell a soul how I did in the moose!

When I go a huntin', I don't take a gun,
I just take myself and have lots of fun.
I get up behind them, then get myself loose,
Now I've never had anything quite like a moose!

I've found many women attracted to me
A few of them have had me over for tea
Some say that they love me when they're feeling loose
But I'd trade the world's women for one lovely moose!

The English are said to like boars who've had corn
The Celtics just dream of the young Unicorn
The Germans, it's said, just need leather and rope
But give me a moose and I'll no longer mope!

The king of the gods is a fellow named Zeus,
On top of Olympus with an urge to seduce.
They offered him virgins but he'd just refuse,
"Screw all of your virgins and bring me a moose!"


Oh, the bride of ol' Bill, it's never been told
Had surrendered her virtue indecently bold
But she still has her "Moose" - she's happily his wife
Proof even a woman can have one for life.

Now I've broken the laws in this god-awful state
They've put me in prison and locked up the gate
They say that tomorrow I'll swing from a noose
But my last night I'll spend with a good sexy moose!

Next morning the Governor's word reached my ears
"We've commuted your sentence to ninety-nine years!"
"You won't get parole; not a five minute's truce,
And your friend goes to Sing-Sing, he's so big-a-moose!"


Mooses come walking over the hill
Mooses come walking, they rarely stand still
When mooses come walking, they go where they will
When mooses come walking over the hill

Mooses look into your window at night
They look to the left, they look to the right
The mooses are smiling; they think it's a zoo
That's why the mooses like looking at you

So if you see mooses while lying in bed
It's best just to stay there pretending you're dead
The mooses will leave and you'll get the thrill
Of seeing the mooses go over the hill

---Arlo Guthrie, "Mooses Come Walking"
 

Donald Post - dpost@gbn.net:

When I go a huntin', I don't take a gun,
I just take myself and have lots of fun.
I get up behind them, then get myself loose,
Now I've never had anything quite like a moose!

 

    Chorus

Kevin Erickson - kevtrout@everett.com:

When I was a boy, playboy got me excited,
but now I am older - the yearn for babes has subsided,
I still get horned up and I still get wet dreams,
from ogling naked Moose in my new Field and Stream.

 

    Chorus

So when I'm alone and I get out the lotion,
and set Rosie and her five good friends into motion,
I'm not fantasizing about naked women on the loose,
but of fondling and groping on a beautiful Moose.

 

    Chorus

Benjy \"Mooseolini\" Feen - b-feen@staff.uiuc.edu:

Oh give me a moose in a long flowered skirt
A touch of mascara or blush couldn't hurt
With lipstick or perfume you'd think she's a queen
And with moose it's still legal if they're under eighteen.

 

    Chorus

Colin Corbett - ccorbett@cohesive.com:

I've tried many creatures on land or at sea
I've even tried ostrich, but they didn't like me
Sharks are quite good but they're hard to pull loose
But on dry land theres nothing quite like a moose

 

    Chorus

Woodchucks are alright except that they bite
And foxes and rabbits wont last through the night
Cows would be fun but they're hard to seduce
But you never should worry should you find a moose

 

    Chorus

Step into my study and you will find there
A black striped tiger and a scruffy maned bear
You'll know the elephant because his skin is so loose
And the one that is winking you know is the moose

 

    Chorus

The lion succumbed to five dirty tricks
And ballistas and tigers I've proved just don't mix
The elephant he fell in a pit on a noose
But I won't tell a soul how I did in the moose

 

    Chorus

I've found many women attracted to me
A few of them have had me over for tea
Some say they love me when they're feeling loose
But I'd trade the world's women for one lovely moose

 

    Chorus

The good lord made Adam and a woman named Eve
Said if you sin now I'll ask you to leave
They left not because of Eve's forbidden fruit
But because Adam decided the moose, they were cute

 

    Chorus

The English are said to like boars who've had corn
The Celts they dream of the young unicorn
The Germans are happy with leather and rope
But give me a moose and I'll no longer mope

 

    Chorus

Well I've broken the law in this godawful state
And they've put me in prison and locked up the gate
they say that tomorrow I'll swing from a noose
but my last night I'll spend with a good sexy moose

 

    Chorus



Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!Adopt one today!

Tags: faire, filk, moose
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